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Narcissistic & emotionally abusive relationships
Intermittent reinforcement
Why unpredictable affection can feel so hard to walk away from.
Intermittent reinforcement is a pattern where affection, warmth, or reward arrives unpredictably — mixed in with distance, criticism, or coldness. This unpredictability can create a powerful pull, similar to how a slot machine keeps people playing. It's a known psychological pattern, not a sign that you're too attached or too needy.
What did the 'good' moments in this relationship look like, and how often did they actually happen?
How did the unpredictability affect your sense of calm or control?
What do you notice in your body when you think about the times things were good?